What the F@!#

Hi there readers, welcome to my blog. If you've found this, then I hope to sweet baby jesus that my constant anxiety can offer some sort of entertainment to you. If you are related to me, then I hope you are reading this months after it's initial post date because I am in no mood to let you in on this little secret of mine...that I am openly discussing on the internet. I'll get there someday, but right now I'll just tell the world instead.

You see, 4 days ago (the day after Thanksgiving to be precise) I had an inkling that something funky was happening all up in my uterus and I decided to take a pregnancy test. Since I'm some sort of pregnant psychic it of course came back positive, and now I'm a constant emotional argument with myself. It goes something like this:

"What the hell did you do?! You KNOW how babies are made! OMG girl I can't even."
"Hey you shut your little mouth. This will be ok. We're going to have a beautiful son or daughter and it will all work out well."
"You can't raise a baby right now! Your life is in shambles."
::intense crying:: 

Mind you, I'm an almost-thirty-year old woman who is in a loving (albeit very new) relationship with the father of this little tadpole looking thing growing inside of me. We had already been discussing moving in together, getting married, and starting a family. What we didn't discuss was how quickly some of these things might be happening. I've never been one to rush into anything. My laziness and crippling anxiety tend to get in the way, but this is a little different.

And I am a complete mess. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm growing in OBGYN phone numbers who won't accept me as a new patient because I don't happen to have one already. My boyfriend and I are now apartment searching in a hurry because I currently rent a room out of my dad's basement. I don't know what foods I should stay away from because the internet is telling me all foods are basically poisonous and I still have yet to get a Dr. Appointment set up to get everything checked and to ask my million and one questions I already have. Plus, I've had a miscarriage in the past (and with some pretty shitty back story) and I'm scared it will happen with this one.

Here's where you come in lovely readers! I need to let all these emotions, worries, anecdotes, etc. out somewhere. Unfortunately my grandmothers and my mother have all passed away and I am the oldest sibling in my family, so none of my sisters have gone through this yet. I need a place to let it all out when I'm crying or a place to post happy moments along this seemingly stressful journey that I've embarked upon. I don't know what is in store but I hope you'll stick around and see me through it. I can't guarantee much, but maybe we can share some of our favorite vomit stories.

Thanks for reading this far. There will be more don't you worry about that! Keep checking back and have a great day everyone!